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Dear Dr. Jolt,

Girls always tell me, I'm hung like a horse... I'm not really down on American lingo, so i'm not sure what that means. I'm starting to get self-conscious about it and it affects my performance, if you know what i'm mean... Why can't I just be normal, i don't want to be know as horse-man... What do I do???

Signed,
10"

Dear 10",

Kids. Class is in session. First we'll go through a bit of a history lesson. Back in the days when people were hanged, if the hanging was successful, the person would die and all their blood would rush to their feet....and lowers. Now, on to health class, or "the talk". When a man and a woman like each other, they will become close and kiss and one thing will lead to another and.....BOIOIOING! A male will have an erection when he gets aroused and blood will flow to the penis, making it hard and protrusive. Tying this all together. Man gets hanged. Man dies. Blood rushes to penis. Penis sticks out and says hello. Spectators witness resulting "tent" in pants. Penis seems larger than usual. Spectators thus conclude man is dead, and say he is "well hung".

Ok, the term "well hung" carries through to any man of large "stature", with a play on the word "hung", as in the sentence, "His penis hung from his pubis". Now, you see, horses have notoriously large penises. Well hung. Horse penis. Well hung. Horse penis. Well hung. Horse penis. HEY!!!! You could say this guy is hung like a horse cause he's got a large penis!! Of course the color and texture would be that of a human, and in most cases the size is a bit of an exaggeration. My advice: Be sensitive to a girl's emotions. If she says slow down, BY ALL MEANS SLOW DOWN!

Sincerely,

Dr. Jolt, JD (jealous doctor)

DISCLAIMER: Obviously, Dr. Jolt doesn't actually hold any official medical degree. Dr. Jolt does in no way represent the official stance of the Daily Jolt and is in no way affiliated with Franklin and Marshall College. You reserve the right to completely ignore his ramblings.

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